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ASK A STRAY DAD: EMOTION SICKNESS

Q: You went to Universal Studios? How was Harry Potter World? By the time the broom lifted me off the ground for the second ride around, I just knew breakfast was pulling an Eggs Benedict Arnold, and that I was in deep, deep trouble.  The hard part should’ve been over. Our newly minted 21-year-old hatedContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: EMOTION SICKNESS”

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ASK A STRAY DAD: AWAKE IN ALBUQUERQUE

Q: What time is it? What are we doing up? It’s 4:35 on a Tuesday morning. It was even earlier when my brain shook me awake, but it took me a while to look at the clock because first I had to unpack that recurring dream where I really have to use the bathroom butContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: AWAKE IN ALBUQUERQUE”

ASK A STRAY DAD: DROPPING THE BALL

Q: How did you ring in the New Year? A: We made even less of a deal out of it than we normally do. In an average year we let talk show hosts boozily introduce singers we can’t stand while we binge-eat Christmas cookies and donate to causes we love but have totally forgotten aboutContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: DROPPING THE BALL”

ASK A STRAY DAD: DOCTORED LYRICS

Q: So, how was your weekend? A: On Thursday a doctor in Ruidoso induced my sister-in-law, to try and evict the twins that had been living rent-free in her uterus for the past 9 months. As the Cytotec opened the front door and gave notice that Baby A and Baby B were to vacate theContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: DOCTORED LYRICS”

ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / WEDNESDAY

This is going to make a lot more sense if you read this first: https://askastraydad.home.blog/2020/04/07/ask-a-stray-dad-wear-and-tear/ 5 Days, 5 Ways to Style the GrandPro Rally: Working From Home Without Most of Your Clothes Edition  WEDNESDAY: You know what can bring a little bit of coziness to a cold, gray, unfeeling world? A flannel shirt. You knowContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / WEDNESDAY”

ASK A STRAY DAD: LAUNDRY DAY

If New York wants to seriously call itself the best city in the world, it needs to fix the washing machine.  Q: Where are you going with all that stuff? Are you moving out? A: Hah! I wish! This is seven weeks’ worth of dirty clothes, towels and sheets, tied up in two precariously thinContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: LAUNDRY DAY”

ASK A STRAY DAD: ON BILLS

You can’t spell Con Edison without Con. Q: What’s the hardest part about living in NYC so far? A: Well, before today I would’ve said it was laundry. And we’ll get to that some other time. But as of this morning, it’s paying my Con Ed Electric bill.  Q: How on earth is the hardestContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: ON BILLS”

ASK A STRAY DAD 12:

ON WRITING. QUICKLY. Q: You look terrible.  A: You should know this by now. We’re pretending this is an advice column. Please phrase whatever you’re trying to say in the form of a question.  Q: You look…terrible? A: Thanks. I feel terrible.  Q: What happened? Stay up all night drinking? A: Replace “drinking” with “thinking”Continue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 12:”

Hi. I’m lost.

My name is Jason Effmann. I’m a writer, originally from Portland, OR, who has done a very questionable thing and taken a job that has required me to move to New York City. “Well that doesn’t sound TOO bad. How’s the family adjusting?“ Um… This blog is an attempt to answer the questions my brainContinue reading “Hi. I’m lost.”