Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started

ASK A STRAY DAD: DOCTORED LYRICS

Q: So, how was your weekend? A: On Thursday a doctor in Ruidoso induced my sister-in-law, to try and evict the twins that had been living rent-free in her uterus for the past 9 months. As the Cytotec opened the front door and gave notice that Baby A and Baby B were to vacate theContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: DOCTORED LYRICS”

Advertisement

ASK A STRAY DAD: HOT AIR

Q: What’s the climate like up/down there? A: Well… Portland: Altitude: 50 feetTotal Precipitation, 2021: 35.58 inchesToday’s High Temperature: 68 Albuquerque:Altitude: 5900 feetTotal Precipitation, 2021: 5.50 inchesToday’s High Temperature: 92 The first thing to hit me was the altitude. One week into living at 6,000 feet I brushed my molars too vigorously and blacked out onContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: HOT AIR”

ASK A STRAY DAD: BRANCHES OF SELF-GOVERNMENT

Because I’m so damned pissed at the world right now. That’s why. Q: So what the hell’s been— A: Shhh. We’ll get back to that sometime soon. Meanwhile, here’s a thing that happened after my general revulsion at all the horribleness (and horrible people) in the world started doomscrolling through an entire feed of inspirationalContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: BRANCHES OF SELF-GOVERNMENT”

ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / FRIDAY

We made it to the end. And what have we learned? Probably nothing. 5 Days, 5 Ways to Style the GrandPro Rally, Day 5:  Does this feel like an overcorrection? Absolutely. And what, exactly, were you thinking? That you saw a couple of friends wandering around their neighborhoods in their wedding dresses, just as aContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / FRIDAY”

ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / THURSDAY

5 Days, 5 Ways to Style the GrandPro Rally—Working From Home Without Most of Your Clothes Edition   One hour. That’s all you need, really. One motherfudging hour to get your motherfudging work done. But the kids keep coming, don’t they? Every couple minutes or so, absentmindedly rubbing a stick of butter against the stairwellContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / THURSDAY”

ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / WEDNESDAY

This is going to make a lot more sense if you read this first: https://askastraydad.home.blog/2020/04/07/ask-a-stray-dad-wear-and-tear/ 5 Days, 5 Ways to Style the GrandPro Rally: Working From Home Without Most of Your Clothes Edition  WEDNESDAY: You know what can bring a little bit of coziness to a cold, gray, unfeeling world? A flannel shirt. You knowContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / WEDNESDAY”

ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR

How not to dress for success. Q: What is that you’re wearing? Is that a Speedo and a cardigan? A: Four weeks ago, I boarded a flight from New York to San Francisco for a two-day photo shoot with two laptops, a paperback copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and anyContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR”

ASK A STRAY DAD: ACCEPTANCE

I didn’t want either of them. So I wrote an acceptance speech for both of them. Q: Why the sad face? A: I’m an Elizabeth Warren stan. Which has made this week particularly hard—though frankly the last few were all pretty big stinkers. Having grown up in Cincinnati and attended to the University of Missouri,Continue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: ACCEPTANCE”

ASK A STRAY DAD: LAUNDRY DAY

If New York wants to seriously call itself the best city in the world, it needs to fix the washing machine.  Q: Where are you going with all that stuff? Are you moving out? A: Hah! I wish! This is seven weeks’ worth of dirty clothes, towels and sheets, tied up in two precariously thinContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD: LAUNDRY DAY”