ASK A STRAY DAD: WEAR AND TEAR / FRIDAY

We made it to the end. And what have we learned? Probably nothing.

5 Days, 5 Ways to Style the GrandPro Rally, Day 5: 

Does this feel like an overcorrection? Absolutely.

And what, exactly, were you thinking? That you saw a couple of friends wandering around their neighborhoods in their wedding dresses, just as a way to break up the monotony and bring a little levity. And you thought, “hey, yeah: that seems like something fun and positive.” Only you got married in a plain ol’ black suit. So now guess what you look like? You look like just some schmo in a suit.

No, wait:

• You look like one of Ross Geller’s pallbearers on a very special episode of “Friends.” 

• You look like a trainee teller at Bank of America. 

• You look like you’re launching a doomed bid to become the mayor of Pensacola. 

• You look like the assistant coach of the second-worst basketball team in the Middle Valley Conference. 

• You look like you’re about to lose custody of your red-ribbon-winning Shih Tzus in a surprisingly brief court hearing. 

• You look like the type of person who sends soup back because it’s too hot. 

• You look like the guy in a romantic comedy that the heroine leaves for the man of her dreams. 

• You look like you think that I might be interested in purchasing a car from you today. 

• You look like one of the randos Neo kicks into oblivion on his way to Agent Smith. 

• You look like it’s Friday, and you’ve finally reached the end of this week, and you wanted to give it your last best shot but secretly you can’t wait for this to be over so you can go back to wearing jeans and tie-dyed T-shirts like the Shaggy Rogers that you are. 

Which, thankfully, it is.

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