ON HOSERS: An Existential (and Ultimately Fruitless) Interrogation of One of New York’s More Curious Habits. What are you doing? Why, rinsing off this patch of sidewalk with a garden hose, of course. Why? It’s 6:30 in the morning. It’s just a thing we do. New Yorkers. We New Yorkers. Us. Did someone throw upContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 10:”
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ASK A STRAY DAD 9:
ON EMPTY CALORIES: The effects of cooking comfort food, thousands of miles away from where you feel comfortable. Q: I am living on my own for the first time in forever. What the hell am I supposed to eat? A: Well, tonight I had “Eggs in Purgatory.” Read whatever you want into that. Look, youContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 9:”
ASK A STRAY DAD 8:
ON RED-EYES Q: ANY TIPS ON TRANS-CONTINENTAL TRAVEL? A: Uh, don’t do it? Avoid it at all costs? Consider NOT living thousands of miles away from your family, whom you apparently love but who can even tell at this point? Q: BUT YOU MUST BE RACKING UP A LOT OF MILES… A: Not enough to win someContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 8:”
ASK A STRAY DAD LIGHTNING ROUND!
ON TRAFFIC It’s been too long, and I’m not finding the time for a longer post these days. So in the meantime, here are just a few of the questions that come to mind while walking down the streets (or riding a subway through the greasy intestines) of New York: Q: I like to wearContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD LIGHTNING ROUND!”
ASK A STRAY DAD 6:
ON BOOZY STEPDADS Question: I’m a stepfather to three adolescents. Am I drinking enough? Answer: Probably not, according to every book, movie or television show I’ve ever seen. But let’s check via this handy quiz I pulled off the internet*, shall we? Scenario 1: You are having a nice dinner with your new family. Your middle stepson hasContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 6:”
ASK A STRAY DAD 5:
ON GRIEF. *Note: This was originally written on September 17. Q: We had to put down our 14-year-old chocolate lab, Gus, a week ago. A: Is there a question in there somewhere? Q: No. I just felt like I needed to say it. A: Oh. Sorry. Why? Q: Because I miss him. But probably notContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 5:”
ASK A STRAY DAD 4:
ON SURVIVING. Q: How’s New York? A: Not the worst! Q: Good to hear! I myself have been considering a move from a town I’ve grown very comfortable in, to a much bigger city. Any tips on how to survive — or even thrive — in that transition? A: You’ve gotta be more specific thanContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 4:”
ASK A STRAY DAD 3:
ON CRYING. *Note: This was originally written and posted on August 14. Thank you for your patience as I migrate everything over from another—ahem—Medium. Q: Why am I crying all the time? I’m a grown-ass man. What is wrong with me? Can you help me fix this, so I don’t look like a freak inContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 3:”
ASK A STRAY DAD 2:
ON QUITTING. The world’s most useless advice column tackles asses, doors, and whether the two should meet upon one’s departure. (*Note: This was originally written on August 4. Forgive me, as I’m migrating all this stuff over from another site…) QJ: I’m considering resigning from my long-term place of employment. Any tips on how toContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 2:”
ASK A STRAY DAD 1:
On Existential Crises… *Note: This was originally written on July 27, 2019. Question 1: This doubles as an introduction. Why are we here? That’s easy. As a doting husband to Heidi and father(-ish) of four (I’ll explain later) about to embark on a super-dicey and potentially disastrous life change, I needed a place to ask myselfContinue reading “ASK A STRAY DAD 1:”
Ask a Stray Dad 